
Several people have asked for an opposing side to my Top 17 Best Games of 2011 list. I have no plans to make a video about this, but here is my list regardless. These are just the games that didn’t live up to the hype, in my personal opinion. Not the most awful games ever made or anything, or even all BAD games, but definitely left me somewhat disappointed.
17. Assassin’s Creed Revelations
Boring characters, boring plot, boring locale. Not to mention a severe lack of any real “revelations”. It has its fun moments for sure, and wasn’t a bad game by any means, but it really paled in comparison to ACII and even Brotherhood.
16. LA Noire
Why is this game open world? Sure, it’s kinda cool but it’s a needless distraction. And why did Cole… never mind, spoilers. But that still annoys me, the guy seemed cool, but yeah, I’ve never felt betrayed by own character like that in a game. Still, it was a unique experience, and that’s why it’s not higher on the list.
15. Duke Nukem Forever
Ahh, DNF. Hated by many, loved by few. I enjoyed the game, really. But there was SO much to be desired! Two weapons? Ego? Dumb AI? Coming off to many as misogynistic instead of hedonistic? Argh. Not to mention broken multiplayer and console ports, at least for a good while after launch.
14. Test Drive Unlimited 2
This game was awesome! Then I had to move on to Hawaii, the same map as the previous game. I was done with that last game! Plus, the races that were left on Ibiza were all insanely stupid. Crazy lengthy and just not fun. My other complaints were addressed in patches.
13. Dead Space 2
It’s Dead Space. Again. Except now Isaac talks, yay. Cool levels and stuff, but… I’ve played this before. Hard to get excited over pizza when you just had some what seems like minutes ago.
12. Dead Rising 2: Off The Record
It’s Dead Rising 2. Again. Except now you play as Frank “Unlikeable” West. The gameplay is as fun as the first, and the new additions are swell, but it’s like Dead Space 2… I’ve played it all before. Let’s move on, please.
11. Saints Row The Third
What… happened? Sure this is a darned fun game, but compared to SR2 this one just falls flat. Lame story, lame “gangs”, lame city, lame characters, lame lack of as much customization. Get SR2 if you want a Saints Row game, then grab this one if you want giant purple dildo weapons.
10. Need For Speed: The Run
Need For Speed, yeah! Oh wait. The Run? As in, you have to get out of your car and run from the cops on foot. Quick time events, we all love those, right? Okay, so it does have some fantastic Michael Bay-esque action scenes and sort of a Cannonball Run vibe, but still. Give me a true Most Wanted 2 or Hot Pursuit: Not Suck.
9. Minecraft Pocket Edition (on anything but Xperia Play)
Yes, I know this is a super early release of the game and it’s going to feel unfinished, but WOW. I wasn’t prepared for the absolute uselessness of this. It is insanely grating to do anything with the touchscreen controls, and even then there’s nothing to do but place a few blocks. More content will come for free of course, but the bad controls on a crappy tiny screen make this a deal-breaker.
8. FEAR 3
Argh! What did they do to FEAR? Let’s see, take away the fear, drop in a cover mechanic and regen health, replace many of the moody business/city maps with generic blandness, and ramp the story up to incomprehensible stupid x11. At least the multiplayer was kinda fun.
7. Darkspore
Another game with the Maxis name attached to it. Another Spore game. Either one could get me excited. Then I figure out it’s a weak Diablo rip-off with purely uninspiring customization and story. Ah. Maybe not too bad if you’ve never played an action RPG before… but I have.
6. Bodycount
An arcade shooter, yay! By the creators of Black, yay! *plays the game, wants to throw up* Lame. Lame. LAME. Not worth my time to even describe how broken this game feels to play. I know the vibe they were going for, it almost feels like a first-person Smash TV in parts, but it doesn’t work.
5. Jurassic Park The Game
Telltale had just done Back To The Future justice, so I had hopes for this. It’s a bunch of quicktime events with a “meh” plot and dumb people running around getting eaten. People-eating it cool, sure. But seriously, I expect this kinda stuff from a cheap Sega CD game or something, but not in a game with this much potential and hype of a good studio behind it.
4. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3
I actually liked Black Ops, and the first Modern Warfare was sweet. But, uh… wow. I haven’t been this bored with a first-person shooter since number two on this list. What a bland game, this really could have been $15 DLC and it would have been acceptable. Can you tell I’m not a big fan of repackaging last year’s games for this year?
3. Dead Island
I knew that trailer was too good to be true. I did! I expected great things of the game anyway. What I got was a game that started off boring, got kind of interesting, then got boring again after about two hours. Not to mention irritating once you get to the sewers and such. Borderlands meets Dead Rising meets something sad and lonely. Could be a very cool premise, but please, for the next one, let people know what to expect at least a little bit? And make it not suck?
2. RAGE
id Software, nooooooooooo! What happened, guys? I can appreciate trying new things, but wow. This is easily the game I tried the hardest to get into this year, but was simply punched in the balls the more I tried. Useless open world, plot that gets almost gets interesting then sucks, awful technical issues, and seriously broken questing. And no deathmatch? Really?!
1. Postal 3
This… this is amazingly bad. The only game on this list I’d say is true crap. It uses ancient Source Engine code, yet runs worse than any other game on my system. They took away everything about Postal 2 that made it cool and made it a linear, boring, broken, rather unfunny mess of an interactive software thing. I shouldn’t have expected much from RWS after they screwed up Postal 2 with Apocalypse Weekend and passed on the coding duties to some random Russian devs, but come on. How do you screw up Postal? Again?!
You may notice a few of these were also on my best of the year list. Yes. Like I said, I did enjoy some of these near the start of the list, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t feel a bit lacking. It’s possible to think something is good and still want a lot more out of the experience
Posted in Ennui
|
A look into how LGR vids are made
Friday, July 20th, 2012Lots of people ask what goes into making my reviews. Do I write a script, do I ad-lib everything? Well, yes and no. Below is an example I ran across while going through some files (most of these I don’t keep)…
That is the “script” for my Alice: Madness Returns review (video embedded at top of post). They’re more like notes, as I ad-lib a whole lot of the review. Yes, simple. Lazy even. I just kind of talk, record my ramblings for an hour or so, then edit it down into something resembling coherent speech. Certain reviews call for more detailed scripting (like my hardware or Sims reviews) but even then, a lot of it is made up on the spot. I actually think of most of what I’m going to say while playing the game, then do my recording while it’s still fresh on my mind.
So yes, now you know.
Posted in Ennui | 5 Comments