Archive for May, 2011

Corridor 7 Review Video Is Online!

Saturday, May 28th, 2011

[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/h4t0gr6vRwA%5D

Since this game happened to be the game that was most-requested in this month of “LGR Viewer’s Choice”, I decided to put a little more effort than usual into some of the presentation of this video. I hope it entertains.

It really isn’t that bad of a game, and it does, in fact, include some very cool stuff. The unique aliens, the infrared visor, randomized difficulty mode, and the overall atmosphere of the game are just sweet. But I can’t get over the fact of how boring it can get! And I don’t think it’s just me either, since after looking at some other reviews I’ve found it’s a common sentiment. It’s just to… corridorey for its own good. If there were only seven corridors, that would be okay. But 40? Yeah.

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Pyrotechnica Game Review Video Is Online

Friday, May 20th, 2011

[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/h4t0gry6RgA%5D

My video review of Psygnosis’s Pyrotechnica is now online via the usual channels!

This is another one of those games I wanted to enjoy but could not manage to. The graphics are just awesome, and I certainly count myself as a fan of the FM music. But I simply could not get over the awkward controls and the brutal enemies. As one commenter on YouTube already mentioned, this could have been another timeless PC classic had things been a bit less harsh and a bit more polished.

Oh well. Off to Corridor 7!

New LGR Channel on Blip.tv!

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

The news is finally hitting the mainstream media that blip.tv is going through a complete overhaul/update due to their continued success, and I’m happy to announce my channel was one of those selected to partake!

Back in the beginning of April of this year, I was chosen as one of the channels to get the initial red carpet treatment on blip.tv:

While we will be reaching out to all of our users, only the recipients of this email will receive priority treatment and guaranteed elevated status.

email from blip.tv

As of today, my “new and improved” blip channel is now online! Complete with branding throughout blip and an awesome look on my channel page as well as a wider presence on affiliated networks. Good times.

Check things out here! http://blip.tv/lazygamereviews

Purple Saturn Day Review Is Online!

Friday, May 13th, 2011

[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/h4t0gruAPQA%5D

So the PSD review is friggin’ online. And every time I abbreviate it “PSD” I think “Print Shop Deluxe”. Old habits die hard. I loved the old Print Shops!

What an odd game though. Really, any of the Exxos games are, but this one in particular has earned its label of odd game. Quirky, perhaps, is more accurate. Especially the manual, which I’d totally recommend reading for a laugh. Those ads and articles from Saturn are just freaking bizarre! And awesomely classic in the campiest of ways. Enjoy.

Bizarre 1989 Christian Anti-Video Game Ad

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011


VIDEO GAMES AND MUSIC ARE EVIL.

I randomly ran across this old Moody Monthly magazine today, the November 1989 issue. Seeing an ad on the back of the magazine for an electronic Bible study computer (looked a lot like a TRS-80 Model 100), I had to take a look inside to see if there were any more retro computing/gaming gems. There were the expected ads for IBM/Tandy and Macintosh software for Bible study and other references, but then I saw the amazing ad above. Click it to view full-size, it’s golden.

Okay, where do I begin? “Without a Bible your kids can understand, Heaven knows where they’ll turn”. Uh-oh, sounds serious, better buy your product! That simple blurb just implies so much about the people behind this ad and who it’s targeted toward.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with someone who believes in and approves of the influence of the Bible wanting to provide their kid with one that is easier to read than the ├╝ber-classic KJV. That’s their prerogative, that’s their kid and they can do as they wish. But this ad just bothers me!

For starters, I’m going to ignore the cassette tape labeled “A Frightful Good Time” and the “Mastermind” LP, because frankly those are hilarious enough on their own. They sound like Halloween sound effects and a board game accompaniment, respectively. No, the subtle “video games are evil” vibe is what’s impressive to me here.

There’s the poor, innocent NES down in the corner, which is shown with the Zapper gun to show that it is violence incarnate. I mean, good grief! This is published by Zondervan Bible Publishers! They’re the same company that had a line of Zondervan stores, which were the exact same retailers responsible for selling a huge percentage of Wisdom Tree’s awful “Christian” NES games like Bible Adventures, Spiritual Warfare, Bible Buffet and Sunday Funday! So is the NES and its boomstick evil and corrupting our kids or is it awesome when you slap Bible verses and slightly Christian textures onto secular games? Argh, this kind of junk just annoys me. It’s like there’s this witch-burning of everything non-Christian and then they turn right around and sell you the same stuff with some pithy Christianized saying or a cross on it and now it’s okay. Such bull. I know not all Christians and Christian companies are like this, but when they are it’s pathetically sad.

Then you’ve got the awesome fake video boxes to the right of that: The Wicked(?) Wizard, Near Dark, and J.B. Brooke’s Nightmare. I wonder if that last one is a reference to John Wayne’s final movie, The Shootist, where a dying J.B. Brooks goes out like he lived – by the gun? I don’t know, but I find these covers to be classic. Wizards, demons, skulls, more demons, magic, some kind of effeminate spacey person. All the stuff that the scaremongers loved to say is corrupting America’s youth and is pure evil. D&D, video games, fantasy, comic books, movies, music (especially metal and rap!)

Finally, there’s Masters of the Dark on the TV in the back. Maybe it’s a movie, maybe it’s a video game. I don’t know, but I think it sounds awesome! Similar to Mastertronic or Microprose’s awesome games? Is it a docudrama of the Sith? Is it about Digimon’s Dark Masters? I don’t know, but after seeing this ad I wanna know!

Then again, I didn’t have The Adventure Bible as a kid. Oh well, back to playing Doom and listening to those evil beats.

The Kristal Review Video Is Online!

Friday, May 6th, 2011

[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/h4t0grmHAAA%5D

The first review chosen by the viewers is now online! And it is Fissionchip Software’s The Kristal.

I guess for a game based on a bizarre, unreleased play it’s not too bad. Then again, it’s the only one I know of. As a game that’s trying to be fun though, it’s… um… lacking. Even WolverGallagher can’t save this one from an unfortunate fate!

Next Four LGR Vids Chosen, The Kristal Coming Friday

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

A bit late with this blog post, but whatever. The votes have been counted and the next four Lazy Game Reviews have been chosen by the people!

About four hundred freaking votes were submitted via comments, Facebook, Twitter, email, and otherwise. Lots more than I imagined I would get and it took like an hour and a half to count them all, so if I ever do this again I will be posting an online poll of some kind. Thanks for all the votes though! This was a fun experiment, and it was cool seeing people get passionate about certain games, whether good or bad.

Watch the video above to see how each of the eight games placed, as well as some general Minecrafting nonsense for the last half of the video. That was completely unintended but I suppose it worked out in the end for the many who had requested more Minecraft stuff. Now that the game is releasing 11/11/11, I wonder if I should review it after that. Hmm, depends on what else is going on that month for me I guess.

I’ve already got the first review for this month, The Kristal, completed as of last night. It was not at all what I was expecting and that is both good and bad. Saying it’s a Cinemaware game is really doing it a disservice. To Cinemaware, that is… it’s saying too much of The Kristal.

Also, the YouTube account reached 10,000 subscribers (and almost 3.3 million views) the other day! Quite wild stuff, that. Seriously, thank you all for enjoying my content enough to click that little button or link while signed into YT! It means very little when you think about it, but it’s still nice to see such a large number of people giving their vote to say “I approve”. I guess I like voting? I don’t know.